Feel so bad that no one could understand my feeling. For few times, my tears almost drop because I couldn't do anything to fix it. I have no income. I don't get money from my mum anymore since I have scholarship.
And now, after spending that much, I don't know how to get more input for myself except to get money from my mother. However, I feel ashame to ask money from her again. So, I didn't ask her for money and keep thinking how to pay my sisters' debt.
Now, I don't even dare to go out with friends for supper or dinner or any entertainment (movie, sing k, etc) because I really run out of money now. Next year, I will still need few thousand to prepare for my trip.
Sigh.. Money never get enough to be used and I'm so lazy to go out work as well. I could only live in sobber now.
Stress, tension, despair, unpleasant and laziness live in me now.
Duh.. wish to buy new things to cheer myself again.